Description

Are you feeling pressured to have a "big emotional moment" when you go wedding dress shopping? Guess what? We’re back! After a short break, we’re kicking off our new episodes by tackling one of the biggest misconceptions in bridal.

On this episode of Every Body is a Bridal Body, hosts Natasha and Kassidy of Versailles Atelier Bridal debunk the "Say Yes to the Dress" myth for brides. We explore why it’s perfectly okay if you don’t cry when you find your wedding gown. Whether you’re preparing for your first appointment at our South Jordan Bridal Shop or browsing other bridal boutiques, we’re here to help you shop with confidence and stay true to yourself.

✂️ In This Episode:
The "Yes to the Dress" Myth: Why we need to stop letting TikTok and TV dictate what your "moment" should look like.

Why You Might Not Cry: From being a logical decision-maker to simply feeling calm and confident, we explore perfectly normal reasons for a tear-free appointment.
Real Stories from the Shop: Heartwarming examples of powerful "yes" moments that involved whispers of peace rather than drama.
Redefining "The Moment": Why you should chase the truth—how you feel as yourself—instead of chasing tears.
The Truth About Tears: Why crying isn't always a "truth teller" and how emotions often show up later during alterations or the big day.

?? Visit Us:

Love the show? Come see us in person! Versailles Atelier Bridal is a destination bridal boutique in South Jordan, Utah, serving the entire Salt Lake City area. We specialize in unique, high-fashion designer gowns for every body.

Book your appointment:www.va-bridal.com
Instagram: @va_bridal
Facebook: @va_bridal
Email: everybodypod@va-bridal.com or info@va-bridal.com

🔗 Resources Mentioned:
Psychology of Emotional Responses
Weddi n g Expectations vs. Reality

Episode 43 "I Didn’t Cry — And That’s Okay"

This automatic transcript is brought to you by AI technology.

We are officially recording Oh perfect Cats has taking her shoes off and getting comfy in the office always always Well hi guys, Hi, it's been a while. I'm sorry, it's been since June this year. Yeah, the last time we posted was like June second, I think, is what my podcast app said on my iPhone. That's it.

I know we had like one other episode recorded, but we're in a situation where we can't talk about it just yet. I don't even know if I honestly have that one anymore. I think it was just a bitch fest. I think we re record that one if we want to.

Yeah, So we've just been in hermit mode, survival mode, going into thriving mode. That's about where we're at. Borderline seasonal depression. Welcome to Utah, Welcome to Utah.

So but yeah, we wanted to get back in the swing of things with podcasting, knowing that right now is engagement season. Everyone's getting engaged, everyone's starting the research to start dress shopping. As a reminder, busy season for most bridal shops starts January, so right after New Year's and can. Go to about April.

Yeah, usually yah, March April, because we get a new rush of newly engaged people around Valentine's which fun. Fact, if you didn't know, the busiest holidays to get engaged on are Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's. Which is right where we're at because it is early December right now, so we're right about there. But what are we talking about today? Cast? So this episode, sorry I lost my thought being all for and shit right, but today we're talking about a moment that doesn't always go the way brides expect, and that's finding your dress.

But a lot of people believe that they should be crying. To know it's the one, yes, Isn't that it's such a weird concept. I like, it's one of those things I like. I still have a grandmother alive, but my bubba is from another country and she didn't really like she wore a white outfit, but it was more like a suit jacket and skirt like that kind of thing, so she didn't do the whole dress shopping thing.

Yeah, but my other grandmother is no longer here. But like I wonder, like with her or my mom, or like anyone in those generations, did they expect to cry? I wonder, like I wonder if they had a shopping at and it was an emotional decision, right, And anyway. I've never really asked my mom about her first wedding dress, but I know the second one she had to just find something quick. Yeah, when she married your dad.

Yeah, yeah, because they were going to a lope and she just needed something which hey, super cute. Heck yeah so but yeah, so we thought we talked about that because that is I think one of those hesitations a lot of our brides can have if they feel confident in address, yep, but no one's cried. Yeah, and every moment for every bride looks different and that is totally okay. Yep, a thousand percent.

So don't compare yourself yeah to others' reactions, and don't let the oh shit, I didn't cry moment prevent you from saying yes to your gown if you feel great in address. Right, which leads us to the yes to the dress myth And thanks to reality TV a crazy show names Say Yes to the Dress and TikTok, there's been a lot of big pressure for the. Moment quote unquote. The emotional breakdown, the happy tears, and when it doesn't happen, some brides feel like they've chose the wrong dress.

Or they think something's wrong with them, Like why didn't I cry everyone. Else does, which I don't, And we're here to say that not crying doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It just means your decision process looks different. Yeah, And you know, I'm sure in other episodes we've had little snippets of this, but I saw my dress hanging my first day of work at a shop I used to work at years ago, and I tried it on once and was like, yep, if he asks me, this is what I'm getting.

And that was legit my process. I did not have a single tear about my wedding dress, I think until I put it on on my actual wedding day. Yeah, and that's when the emotions hit because I already had the butterflies, the excitement was there, the adrenaline was kind of rushing, Like I had so many big emotions that I cried when I saw myself in the mirror because I had my hair done, my makeup done, I had the head piece on I made to match my dress, like I had all those bridle pieces. Yeah, that was the moment I cried.

Yeah, and as we know, I saw my dress fabric through a photo for Natasha to bring it in. Sure did. But during my appointment, which my appointment wasn't like a normal appointment, it was I know, a lot of my close family has never had the honor of being at a bridle appointment. So I was like, come and see some of the dresses I love, but I'm leading up to my favorite.

And I didn't really care for their input because it's my dress. Yeah, and I like to hear their feedback, but they. Know I'm gonna choose what I want. Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like because your appointment was structured very similar to a private appointment in the sense of we did it, you know, outside of business hours, we have like you had like a sort of god twelve people.

I think it was around there, around there because she had parents, in laws in law, My husband and I were there, the designer, our friend. Jared, which was and I love. Yeah. So but like obviously experiences are different for everything.

Yeah, because I didn't cry at my appointment. I cried when my actual dress that I designed came in I put it on. But I think the reason I cried was mental trauma. From thinking I would never get married that.

And you know, I'm not going to make assumptions of everyone that walks through our door, but most women who come in here or people that we service, have some sort of emotional trauma around the way they look and how that equates to their worth. And so sometimes those emotions will catch up to you because it's more of your allowing yourself, yeah, to be happy and allowing yourself to feel beautiful and feel confident, and those emotions can be intense when you're in an opposite type of mental state in your everyday life, where that part of you shut down and you don't feel you're allowed to experience those things. And now you're finally experiencing something that you never thought you'd be able to. Yeah, totally, But that's big emotions.

So the big emotions usually make you cry totally. But finding your dream dress does not always equate to big emotions, because, you know what, you might just be more logical in the way you think and not emotional based, which is normal. And from what we've seen here are some of the reasons why you may not cry, which is totally normal but normalizing Some of the brides that don't cry that we've seen. There are a lot of logical decision makers, very analytical.

You might have a spreadsheet. You might be an accountant slash engineer and you have an Excels breadsheet. That's great, baby, girl, bring your spreadsheet will help you analyze all the data. Yeah, some have already emotionally processed the moment.

Sometimes I feel like girls will cry in the very first dress they put on, yes, because that's the like, oh my god, I'm experiencing wedding dress shopping. Yeah, And the emotions catch up then, but they're not crying because it's their dress. They're crying because they're experiencing the moment of finding a dress. Yeah.

Because a lot of girls definitely come in very timid, and then when it's on, I think they realize, oh my gosh, this doesn't have to be scary. Yeah. And I think it's that like as you just said, like they're processing the moment. So once that moment's been processed, okay, you can like now logically think through the steps of choosing what you want to wear for your wedding day.

Yeah, and then some already feel super calm and confident rather than some brides cry because they're very overwhelmed. Yes, we do see a lot of girls that feel overwhelmed, and that's something we can touch on after Yep, this point. There will be hopefully another episode about it. Yeah, but some others are if they're nervous in front of others and hate being the center of attention, then they may not have that emotion to cry.

They just may feel more awkward. Oh, one thousand percent, and touching on the overwhelmed feeling, you know, that could could be just the fact that you're in the throes of wedding planning. Wedding planning is extremely stressful, especially if you don't have a wedding planner. Excuse me, wedding planner.

Shout out to all of our wedding planner friends. Love them, love them so much. If that is something you can budget for one thousand percent, get one. It'll help if you are easily overwhelmed.

They simplify things, They keep things organized, so you can just have fun in the process without being stressed. Absolutely, But outside of that, we get girls who come and overwhelmed because they've been to six appointments in the last seventy two hours. Yeah, that's a lot of dresses a lot of white dresses. Also that you can feel overwhelmed because you've literally stocked yourself all day.

Yeah, and you're thriving off coffee. In fact, you need. Your sugar levels up a little bit a big workout. It is.

It's emotionally overwhelming and physically overwhelming. And if you are not feeling your body with things that provide nutrients, you will have a mental breakdown. So don't get yourself to the point of overwhelmed. Please don't.

And if you are feeling overwhelmed, trust me, Cass and I can recognize those signs. It is written all over your face, that's in your body language, it's in your responses to someone asking a question. So if it's your family overwhelming you, if your blood sugar's dropping, if you didn't sleep all the night before, if you've seen too many dresses going crosssied, any of those things that can cause you to feel overwhelmed, we will see and we'll usually once we get you back in the room, we're gonna say, Okay, what's going on? What do you need in this moment? If we can tell our clients at a point that putting on any more dresses, whether the family's requesting, or they're feeling pressured to find a dress. We may say, you know what, I think it's time to take a break, whether it's just for a few minutes to collect ourselves, have some water, sit down, decompress, or I think we need to do a follow up appointment.

I think it'd be best if we help you get your normal clothes back on. Let you just take some time for you. Yeah. But and that's why we keep our bridle like our dressing rooms very private, because in some settings, the family can hear you as you're getting.

Changed, which is super awkward. Yeah. So if you need time away from them to talk to us, or just like time to take a second and sit, we love our big, spacious and private dressing rooms. Yeah.

So just know that you are going to fill emotions in dress shopping. That emotion may not be tears of joy over saying yes to your dress. They may be tiers over exhaustion, over like I said, low blood sugar, over opinionated family members because they think they're giving positive critiques when really they're tearing you down. So don't have the expectation of what Cass mentioned with social media videos.

We know right now things are crazy on TikTok of girls going to a million stores and recording their favorite like I swear to god, six to eight dresses that they've. Tried, and some of them have multiple parts. Yeah, and it's a lot, And I know the fifteen minutes of fame can be super exciting. Going viral is fun, and I get it.

That is the day and age we live in. Just learn to enjoy the moment and be present in the moment absolutely, which I know is ironic as we're on all forms of technology right now recording things for a podcast. But being present in the moment is what's going to allow you to be able to clearly make a decision that you are happy with when it comes to finding your wedding dress. Absolutely, And like another reason people don't cry is some see the dress online and they know it's our dress one hundred percent.

It's not a big reveal. It's just a confirmation for them. One hundred percent. And others like if you are one who knows you need a little bit of time to be able to process to know how to make the right decision, and you do have a couple of appointments, we get it, you know, obviously, we're always hoping to capture in that first appointment with us you saying yes, we know that's not everyone's process.

So if you take that time to process and you come back in and try it on a second time, you may cry in that moment because you're like, oh, I'm not a stimulated today, I'm being present. I'm feeling what I feel, absolutely so. But at some point you may cry. It just may not be in the moment you're expecting, and you may.

Even not cry. Some people aren't cry. Everybody's hormone stress levels. Are so different.

And I think that's one of the things that took me aback because I am such an emotional human. M h. Every freaking video in any of my social media feeds that has anything about like taking care of people in need right now, it's all the Angel Tree videos, you know, people who are sick and people rally together to raise money for them to take care of themselves, whatever it is. Those things hit me hard and I am sobbing, like whatever that person's feeling, I'm feeling, and the fact that I didn't do that when I first put on my wedding dress is kind of a weird, Like, yeah, I don't want to say mind fuck, but like that's just what feels right, Like you're just like wait, like this is such sometimes it's hard to understand.

Yeah, why your body is not reacting how it normally does. Yeah, because it's so significant, right, and it is an emotional journey because you're taking a step from being a single person that's just you, and you're still you when you're married, but you're just a single entity. And now you're agreeing to legally be bound to another person and you become a duo. So like everything you're doing you're doing together, and there's there's not emotion.

I'll tell you what I feel like. I was in a vomit on my wedding day because my adrenaline was so high and I was pregnant, so that probably added to it. But but yeah, it's it's wild what reality TV created. Because I'm also going to tell you right now, if your basis for your wedding dress appointment is watching reruns of Say Yes to the Dress.

Baby Girl, that is not you got a lot coming towards you. That's not in real life. No, they literally pick and choose the people that will be on there, so they look for drama. You're filling out a survey before you go.

They want to know who dislikes who. You know, who in the group is overly opinionated. They they want things that are gonna sell TV shows and reality TV. They're gonna pick you know, the things that people are gonna eat up.

Oh yeah, it's like trashy reality shows. Yeah, you get tied from the drama and all of that. Yeah. So most of the clients that come in for us are pretty chill the majority of the time.

There's definitely entourages that can influence and impact how the appointment goes, and we do our best to keep control so that the bride can have her moment if we lead her there. And that is one of the reasons for us if you are looking to schedule an appointment with us. We have trimmed down the amount of people we allow in store. We used to allow six because technically I have enough chairs and furniture to seat so many people.

But we notice that six easily turned into seven or eight, Like, oh, I know you said only six, but like, these people are important, are important, so we trimmed it to four. In our experience, especially mind doing this almost sixteen years. Four people at most is a really sound group if you like multiple opinions, but it restricts you from feeling obligated to invite everybody you know to the appointment. You are forced in the most loving way to choose the people who are going to be emotionally available to support you in this journey.

Yeah, because we've seen very opinionated groups that can turn into six versus one. Yes, and we want to prevent that. And it's easier for us to battle four over six. It can be yes.

And if you have the smaller, more supportive group, you may have that moment of crying when you're in your dress because again, having people who are emotionally available allows you to be emotionally vulnerable. Yep. And so if you have that support in your appointment, you may have that big say yes to the dress moment of crying when we put the veil on you and we, you know, get you all bridlefied that you'll feel it because you feel safe enough to feel that way. If you don't feel safe, you may not process the emotions just because it's hard.

Like we keep reiterating, it's okay if you don't cry, even if you are in this small, intimate group who is emotionally available for you. You still may not cry. One thousand percent. So don't stress out over how you are supposed to react when you find your dress.

It should be a very fluid, very easy thing. You know. It should not feel over complicated. It should not feel like an emotional burden.

It should not feel so stressful that you just make a decision to make a decision. So it's all about the steps you take before you start dress shopping. It's all about the amount of appointments you schedule for yourself and the people that are with you, So all of those factors can influence your response during the dress appointment. Absolutely, And the amount of time we've been here, we have seen so many brides say yes in different ways.

We've seen a big smile, We've seen a quiet nod or even just a deep excel. We've seen giddy dances. Oh yeah, like we've seen it all. I think one of my favorites I ever had was someone just looked in the mirror and it was one of my girls that had a spreadsheet.

And I'll tell you what, I love the girls that have spreadsheets Like they they're so opposite of my personality. So it's just fascinating to watch their analytical mind function. That's what I will say. It's fascinating, but it also is me anxiety.

Yes, gives us anxiety because we don't work that way. But one of my brides had her you know, pros and cons lists for every single dress and they were comparing from favorites from other stores, and so she had her friend read off the ratings of the other favorite dresses versus the one she was in in my store, and the comparison of the pros and cons list, and that's when she was like, Yeah, this dress matches, you know, all the pros and all the things that I was wanting. There's really not any cons. And the one con was like some type of adjustment and production that we had done.

I think it was just color. I think she wanted ivory rather than champagne. Like that was the con. Was the color she tried them wasn't right.

But she's like, yeah, this has everything on my checklist, so this is it. I'm done. And then she just hopped off the pedestal and was walking to the room and I was like, oh, I guess we're done. Yeah, it's so funny.

Whereas I have I have had the girls that are like blubbering, like they are such a mess they can't even yeah oh yeah. And that is the spectrum. And then there's people who fall right in the middle that are just like, I feel beautiful, this is it. I don't want to keep looking.

I'm done. Yeah, we've seen it all. We've seen it. Also, just know that you aren't broken, if you aren't crying, you're not missing anything.

But just know you've made a decision from confidence and a place of calm, and that's the best case scenario. Absolutely, So we'll try to give you some advice. So instead of chasing the tears, chase the truth. Ask yourself, do I feel like me? Do I feel beautiful? Do I feel ready? Am I going to look back at my photos and love it? Always? I love that? Yeah.

Vice guests, thank you my god. It's like you do this for a living. It so, but we wanted a nice, short and sweet episode just to give some quick advice. Like I said, we know you're in the process of researching out of excitement if you're starting your wedding planning journey, and that in and of itself can be overstimulating.

So hopefully this wasn't overstimulating. It was informative, it was fun. Yeah, but no, you can always reach out ask questions, shoot us a DM on any of our social media platforms, which will be linked in the show notes. Also, you can reach out to us by email.

We'll have all of that there. Like I said in show notes, So if you have questions, concerns, if you need any advice, even if you don't live near us, or you don't plan on shopping with us, but you want a Bridal bestie to ask questions to, No, Cass and I are here and we'll answer those questions. We love answering questions. It's probably our favorite thing.

And I know that may have sound sarcast, but no, we really do. We both of us thrive. On showing our knowledge in Bridle and sharing our all of our thoughts and education. Yes, nothing strokes my ego more than somebody asking me for advice in an area that I am well versed.

That's it is that the tourus in me. Probably I was gonna say, I'm like, I'm not as talkative as you, but I'm like I could talk about something. I love you do that with if someone wants to ask you a question about F one or football or ghosts, ghosts, horror movies. Yeah, you've got your weird, weird little niches.

Yeah, just bitings this so it's true. I mean i could rant to my family about bridle now, but I've now been in it for five years. You sure have. You're hitting your five years, like next week or this week, and I think this week a couple of days.

Yeah, I think it was the sixth or something. That's crazy, girl, that's weird. Look at that half a decade weird. So all right, loves, well, thank you for listening, and just remember that everybody is a bridal body.

We'll talk to you soon. Hie Back. Numba Bank Land Ramba by Nada Bank NA Data Bank.

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