Episode 42 "Behind The Seams- What Your Bridal Consultant Really Does"

Description

• 💍 Episode Summary:
  
  In this episode, Natasha and Kassidy delve into the multifaceted role of bridal consultants. From early morning preparations to emotional support during appointments, discover the dedication and expertise that go into helping brides find their perfect gown.
  
  📚 Resources & References:
  Lovella Bridal – Tips and Advice for Being a Bridal Stylist
• Aisle Less Traveled – Women, Weddings, and Emotional Labor
• Darianna Bridal – Some Highs and Lows of Being a Bridal Consultant
• Beth Chapman Consulting – Bridal Store Education & Training
• As well as our 1-on-1 experience with our beautiful brides ♥️
• 📱 Connect with Us:
  Website: www.va-bridal.com
• Instagram: @va_bridal
• Email: everybodypod@va-bridal.com

Episode 42 "Behind The Seams- What Your Bridal Consultant Really Does"

This automatic transcript is brought to you by  AI technology.

You guys are very terrible at this. So the confusing thing about garage band that I use is that there's a play button and a circle button that are right next to each other. And sometimes I think I hit the circle button, which means record, right, said, I hit the little triangle of pointing that away button and it's just playing. Guys, we had a full blown, like a couple of sentences going in before we realize.

It's not quoted, and it was so good because I confused cast telling herb that Monday is the fashion world's version of the Super Bowl. Yeah, and I was like, what is she talking about. It's Mecgala. It's the first Monday of May.

You know what. I would love to have a live commentating of the mec Gala, like the sportscasters. Girl needs to be us. Yeah.

The problem is is it's always a goddamn Monday, which like I get, but like I get my kids from school to and from too bad. Your guys' school doesn't have a bus. It does. It drops off in uh like a few minutes away from us, but we just haven't signed up for it.

Oh, you have to sign up for it. Yeah, you have to sign up to do the bus. You can't just like get on the bus like this. They have to have a list of like the students that take the bus to school and get.

Taken from school. Interesting. Yeah, it's not like it used to be where it's just like oh, like there's a bus, get on a bike. Yeah.

Yeah, they got to track kids now. Yeah. So thanks for our long, random assed tangent. But we spend some time doing some fun, little more morbid episodes.

Yes, kind of freak cast out a little bit about some things that. She there are some weirdos. Welcome to the. World of the Living.

Yeah, but today we're gonna do a much lighter subject. Yeah, and we're gonna do an episode about what your bridal consultants really do, because I think a lot of you think that US bridal consultants are like the ladies and gents of the popular TV show on TLC. Yeah. I mean sometimes there's times where I'm stressed out like them and I'm like I run to get my Randy be like help me.

Yes, I mean, yeah, It's it's interesting because I'll watch it and think, oh, yeah, totally. I'm like we've had scenarios like this. Yeah, but a lot of times, like you can feel the script of it. Oh, of course when I watch it a TV show.

Yeah, granted, I haven't seen the new season because lord knows, I'm not paying for another goddamn streaming serve to watch it. No, I have Discovery Plus and they don't put it up there. That's why I don't know where the hell you watch this shit. Yeah, I'm like, it's TLC, which is Discovery Plus.

So I don't get it. I don't know whatever. We're not bitter at all. But the the times I'll question when I watch it and I'm like, people think this is what we do is when A and granted, kay, let me rephrase.

There are people who do this. We are not the humans who do this. A. There are people in like in these consultants who will just willy nilly grab shit without looking at a goddamn price tag.

Yeah. No, definitely, Yeah, that's that is a peeve. Yeah, that's against so many roles. Yes, obviously there have been times things have been pulled outside a budget.

Yep. And it is always on our end, communicated and we allow the client to make that decision. And sometimes yes, it still ruins the appointment because they put shit on. That is everything they wanted and they can't afford, right, And I feel like that adds to that like concept of well, it's a sales job and they just want the commission and they just like they don't care except to make a sale.

Right. We do care. We care a ton. So that's why I thought, you know what, it'd be a good idea to do an episode that way.

I like, we do have a script a little bit to kind of help keep us within a guideline. This one, I feel it will be a little bit more free flowing. Yeah, just because this is our every day yep, and this is kind of how we do things. But we just kind of want to help you guys not just perceive us as salespeople.

And I loved this or dress fetchers, dress fetchers, I want that on a shirt. I knew you would. That's why I kept it in there when chat GPT was helping me and I was telling you what I needed it to write for me, and it said for me to say often perceived as just salespeople or dress fetchers. I'm like, cas is gonna ask for that to be on a T.

Shirt please or a sticker. I need that so. We are bridal consultants and so much more. We are considered stylists, therapists, logisticians, logistitions, logistics and those people, and we are confidants in the way people open up in our dressing rooms.

I wish we could have a confessional episode where we tell people secrets, but like, I don't want that coming back at me, Like I do want at all, because people tell us things privately. But like obviously names wouldn't be used, right, but man. There's gotta be. There would be someone would somehow.

Put two and two together and like our like four listeners. Yeah, so we wanted to kind of talk about I don't do this all the time, but I really try to because on Tuesdays, I know I usually get here before you, but on Tuesdays I'll try to go around and do like a cli zen ritual in the store. Hey, hi guys, my name is Natasha, and I like to practice magical witchcraft and like spiritual practices. So nice to meet you all.

So I love. On full moons, I make moonwater, and what that means is I will cleanse out a container, I will fill it with water, and I will put it out underneath the moon. To charge, and I always set an intention before I put it out. So I love to have that on hand for like cleansing energies, because I firmly believe that people since because I have an open door policy, I invite all kinds of people and beings into my space, which is going to which is me giving them permission to bring in their emotions, their all of the things, all their baggage, all the baggage, and so especially after an emotionally draining Saturday, because Saturdays can be very emotionally draining depending on bridal parties.

I will come in on Tuesdays and I have a ray bottle with my moonwater and my Himalayan salt, and I will go around the store and I will cleanse this mother trucker to high heavens. There was just water missed everywhere from me spray up. We've even done like a sound bath. Yeah, I've done your incense.

I had an incense burning yesterday. I had cast recorded for me because she had her follow up. It was the coolest thing. It was doing some weird tricks.

Yeah, my incense always does weird tricks around me. I've caught some really cool videos what. It does and that one was splitting towards both of us. Yeah, it like split split in half.

So there were It came out in like literally one stream and then went into two, and then it was spiraling. It was cool. So I try to. At the beginning of the week do some intention rituals of cleansing space, inviting in love and balance, clearing out any like stale energy of negative emotions that can come with people.

Because this is a very highly charged emotional. Space and we're also gnarly empaths that God we take on everybody's emotions and it sometimes kicks our butt. Yeah, I can feel the way other people feel. Oh yeah, so I know that's important for me, and there are times they obviously don't do it, but it is something I try to do when it's just me in here, just to realign the space to the intentions and the reasons why I open this store yep.

I wanted to be a place that people could come in and feel safe. They can be creative, they can be imaginative, and they can feel like there are no limits to who they are and what they can look like on their wedding day. Absolutely, and a couple other traditions in here that you may question because it's not right now we're going into May. But we do have a cinnamon broomstick.

Yes, which I need one of those. That's one of those things I need to stock up more in the fall time because that's what I can find them, or I need to take one of those classes where you can go make brooms like the stick brooms. But I do try to have that on the door to help, you know, bring in abundance, but like remove negativity. I've tried to be intentional in how I have things placed in the store as well as like I do have one of those cute little red Chinese envelopes above my door that is just filled with all sorts of offerings to give thanks to everything that comes in store.

Yeah. So I really try. To be intentional in my spiritual practices and things that make me feel good and hoping that I can set the space up to make everyone else feel good. Yeah.

And before the flood, we used to have crystals in all the rooms to help with just cleansing underneath energy as well as like positive love and all that. Yeah. And I'm hoping to find better shelves because I had just like really basic shelves just to stick crystals on. But now that we have the new space, I want it to be more intentional in what each room.

Is set as. So we always try to set the space before you come in, make sure that it feels as balanced as possible so that you feel good. But I swear to God, I noticed when we don't keep on top of that, because things will just get weird. And I'm like, why is it so weird? And it's like, oh, I haven't cleansed the space.

It's hard. It is. We need an extra like army behind us, and our army's coming, so yep, it'll be great. So another kind of part that a lot of you guys don't know, and I guess it kind of goes into what we're talking about is that this appointment is more than just dresses.

So when a bride arrives to our store, we're here to guide her. Yes, we are here to listen intently, to ask those probing questions, which probing is. A weird word. Just eat, I get it, yes, and.

Observe actions to different styles and fabrics. Yes, And that's a part of our process. When you submit an appointment request, usually cast is the one that calls you because her computer is right next to the phone. Yeah, so it's easier for her to talk without feeling like you gotta yell across the desk.

Yeah, I can dive while docking right there. Yeah. But we do ask very we hope is intentional questions, and we always try to reevaluate how we're asking questions. Yeah, And I would say the initial call is just a general overbroad when we're asking kind of what you're looking for.

But when you're in the shop on our papers, we specifically each of us kind of list it, lift it, list it out differently. But because a lot of people don't work in the bridle industry and they don't know every little detail. Like we do. You may not like soul web names, and.

So we'll ask because a lot of people don't like think about glitter, sequence eating everybody thinks about lace or simple or we'll ask about certain fabrics and kind of show you because a lot of people are like, I have no idea what that is. Yeah, So our questions are to really get to know you, because sometimes a lot of people come in saying I have no idea, when even if you have some things you don't want that'll help. It really does so, and sometimes we get that information on the phone call because it just depends on how open the bride is and if she has time to talk if she doesn't. We just try to get the basics and make sure we get enough information captured to know if we can help you or if we're just not the right fit that we can suggest somewhere else.

Yeah, but especially depending on information given, Like we'll have brides who really open up in that phone call and we kind of really get the full vision. We start game planning before they come in. Yeah, we had one yesterday that she wants to feel like a Victorian ghost haunting elegantly. Oh so excited.

That is the coolest thing I have ever heard, like as a description of how you want to feel. Didn't know they could put both of us together. I know, it's like I had a bride too, who because one of the questions I know we've mentioned this before in during the bridal appointment that we ask is what is your favorite feature about yourself that you would love the dress to highlight. So we want to just spin and keep a positive mindset as we are setting the intention of finding your dress because we want you to feel confident in it and not feel like you have to change yourself for the gown.

Nine times out of ten, everybody has to sit and think because everybody focuses on the negatives, on all the parts hate. What do I want to hide? I don't like this, I don't like this. So we ask that to make sure that we're bringing in that positive aspect so you feel good, so you're looking at the positives that everybody else sees well. And then asking that question allows us to use our expertise that we have.

I know, I'm a rare bird that has been obsessed with this entire industry from the moment I could like string a sentence together. So I spent a lot of years trying to understand history and understand the meaning behind and thinking how like, you know, very few people had portraits of themselves in their life, and one of those portraits will be their wedding day, and the entire look that they're wearing is to invoke an emotion of you know, like a young life and the life that you don't know yet you're going to lead, and all of the great things that are coming your way. Like there's just so much emotionally charged like concepts around wedding gowns, and we can learn so much from how silhouettes and fabrics can tell a story. So us knowing who you are in the story you want to tell allows us to be like, I know how to translate that.

So in what I was saying with that question we asked. When I had asked the bride that months ago, she had said, I don't necessarily have a favorite thing about myself. However, if I could describe. How I want to feel, I want to feel like the night and shining armor of my own story.

I love that. And like, oh my gosh, it like brought tears in my eyes. Because she's like, I just want to feel like I can always depend on myself. I can save myself.

Like, yes, I found my person and I will one hundred percent save him if he needs to be saved. But like, I want to know that I can be saved as much as he can save me. Like it was just so cute, and I was like, girl, you're adorable. It is so sweet.

So we we do have a lot of expertise, however, we do need things from you so that we can use it. Yeah, and that's why the probing questions. Is we do need some effort from your side because we have hundreds of gowns. You can't just say I want to try on a variety of things.

We have no idea where to start. Yeah, because and I know it's the same as like if you went to be a hairstylist and just said do whatever you want, whatever. You think looks good, they'll freak out. They're gonna freak out, just like we do when you say I have no direct like, no creative.

Vision, you just do whatever. Yeah, it's hard because we don't know you more than what we've been allowed to get between a phone call and you showing up in our store yep, And we don't know like do you have sensitivity issues with certain fabrics? Like is an audible something? Is it a touch something? Are you a fidgetter? Like? Are you going to play with stuff instead of standing still? And you want to make sure that like you're looking your best for those candid moment photos yep. Are you worried about a sit down dinner? Yes? Yeah, Are you gonna sit at all? Are you dancing? Are you being lifted in the air? Like? What are like what is the logistic to what your day looks like. And I would say majority of the times, no one knows that when they walk in the door yet because we're one of the first steps.

But like take time to understand you. And if you don't know your wants, tell us you're like absolutely no way hard. Knows don't want this, because that will also give us a direction. Yeah, because then as we because when we after we're done asking you extra questions, if we need to capture more information or just like make sure nothing has changed since the phone call, because the way things have changed from a phone call.

To in person who from fantasy. So once we have that, we usually if we have the ability for both of like for us to consult each other just to make sure that like two brains are working together as one. Yeah, we do. Obviously if it's busy time when we're each doing something, then like it's different.

Yeah, but we usually go like if we have enough information, we'll make notes of like, oh, these are some good ideas before you come in. Yeah, if things changed, then you got to pivot. Yeah, and that's that's fine, it's fine. But we and I tell this, I know right now it's just cast and eye, but we've have had other employees in the past.

Yeah, And I. Always talk about like the wearing of hats and the amount of hats you're going to wear. We've got like fifty on right now. It's true.

So I mean beyond like any type of physical task we're going to do for you, Yeah, we're also going to provide you emotional support because sometimes you have emotionally unavailable family members and it is extremely frustrating. So no, we are emotionally available and we will be there for you. Or it could have been a long day of a bunch of different appointments, you're going to emotionally be exhausted. Yes, And I have been bad about this in recent times, but normally I do like to have certain things stocked, like bars that can help with low blood sugar, you know.

Because it's crazy how people either a don't want to eat or you forget to eat. Yes, And so the mom and me tries to think of those things. Because I have had these poor girls show up on a Saturday and we are their fourth appointment of the day, yep, And they had them scheduled back to back to back that they haven't eaten since breakfast. They're probably dehydrated or at all.

Yeah, they're emotionally distressed and or on the flip side, the family's emotionally distressed and the bride's just like, let's keep going. Yeah. So that's why we consider ourselves a therapist. Yeah, and we've also it was funny we once had a bride where we could just tell her blood sugar was dropping, and we were like, have you had anything to eat? Because trying on gowns is a workout, it is.

It's exhausting to get in and out of these suckers. Yes, and multiple like you're doing anywhere from four to eight dresses in an appointment. Yeah, And we asked like, have you had anything to eat? And she's like, no, I have my usual coffee in the morning and. Then she doesn't eat until dinner.

Yeah, and she's like this is my normal. And I was like, first of all, I understand there's all of these fads and like intermittent fasting and all the shit where they're like, just have a black a cup coffee of you know, black coffee in the morning, ye, and then donate until whenever your metabolism is in like hyper speed or whatever. The fucking shit. No, if you are going to not only emotionally drain yourself that day, if you are going to physically drain yourself that day, you need food that your body is going to convert into energy.

That's how that works. When you eat, your body as it processes, it becomes energy. It's what allows you to keep your blood sugar at a normal rate to make sure that, like you're just functioning in a normal capacity. So please eat.

Yeah, And she was like so confused. She's like, my blood sugar can drop. I was baffled. I was like, do you not know how your body works? For true? And I'm like, okay, yeah, that works for your every normal day, but you're not trying to m this many dress every day.

But also the jitteriness, Oh yeah, Like I know, I have some mornings where I'm not that hungry and I'll just and I'll have my coffee first before I eat. But like, I'll notice that's the only time I notice caffeine in my system is on an empty stomach. And then I'm like and then I can feel like my heart racing a little bit, and then it's like, ooh, yeah, my body is pumping caffeine with nothing in the gut. Like, that's bad, So I really try to avoid that.

Yeah. So, but one thing with like the emotional side of us wearing so many hats is one of the things and reasons why I love having staff members that have some type of maternal instinct slash medical background slash some type of customer service based mindset is because you can you can recognize certain emotional triggers yep, Like you can tell through body language, facial expressions when the bride is distraught because of an interaction with the family. And so it is our job to try to be that mediator, to be in the middle and make sure that we are advocating for you as the client who has in that moment hired us to support you, all while trying to get the family to see the vision that you have. So we don't normally ask this in phone calls.

However, I feel like if a customer has a family dynamic that is because of divorce or you know, you have just different viewpoints of what the family does, they're usually pretty vocal, like, hey, just so you know, this is going to be stressful. So we're usually aware of the stress before it comes, but we put up our own little protection. We make sure that we help set boundaries as much as we can. Obviously, the real shitty thing is the way I want to tell these people to shut the f up, right, You can't know which I understand why, Like being respectful is one thing.

However, it is really hard when you see a family tearing a bride apart because they don't see things the same way, and the bride goes from being on cloud nine to immediately feeling like she's been stomped on and left. For dead in the mud, like she's just it suck. Whether it's a lot more than we'd like. Yeah, So if you need us to be your safe space, just know we're here.

Yep. If you. Whatever it looks like for you to make you feel like this appointment isn't anxiety filled, tell us or whatever store you go to, the good places that you can shop at that to them, this is more than just selling a dress. This is an important stepping stone in your wedding planning process.

Yep. They actually enjoy it. They enjoy it. They will one hundred percent take what any information you want to give.

If you say this is why I'm feeling anxious about my appointment, like I'm so excited, but I also I am afraid I'm gonna throw. Up when I come in. Right, or they're aware that maybe their mom is that generation that will point out your pooch or your arms and all of that. Yeah, they unhinge things.

Mothers and grandmothers and aunts and cousins and best friends and all sorts of loved ones have said. Two brides, Yeah, it's awful. So those are part of the hats we wear. So we are not just here to make a sale.

We are here to emotionally connect with you and emotionally be available to you so that you feel confident within yourself. Yeah, because your wedding should be a day that you love and look back on and you are like, I love what I wore, even if it was trendy at the time and you laugh at it five years later, But that is supposed to be a special day for you. It is, So don't let the opinion of others tear you down and ruin your day. So yeah, so all the hats we wear lots.

We're magicians, performers, all the above, all of the So let's talk a little more like behind the scene stuff. Fun get it, cass logistics and learning. We as consultants also handle a lot of logistical aspects like tracking orders, coordinating alterations, ensuring timelines are met. We got steam dresses, steam, We've got photo shoots, We've got oh my gosh, trunk shows and all a lot.

Yeah, sometimes bridal showcases if we do them, which is very rare, those take a lot of energy. There's just so many facets to what we do. So I'm like, every day we are not here selling address to a bride every day. No, we are doing so many things, Like I'm spending time doing meta ads.

Cass is getting content made for social media and or the podcast for like the visuals. She's trying to get scripts written up for this, same as myself. We're talking through inventory, We're doing fashion forecasting, sketching, sketching if a bride needs something sketched, or for trying to just keep on top of our artistic abilities because it comes in handy and what you do true, but there is so much more to our world than just helping you in. That moment in the store.

I am communicating with production constantly, especially if it's a bride doing any type of change to address or custom work. Yep, they ask. Me questions, and then usually I'm the middleman to ask you the questions because they're going to ask me more in an analytical way, whereas I'm going to ask you more in a like everyday conversation way. Yeah, and I can tell them what it is that you're wanting visually, and I know how to communicate that to pattern making.

We have to be. Up to date on measurements and how we're taking them as well as like converting measurements. Yeah, because we have a lot of designers who do things in centimeters if they're overseas, because we do a completely different. Metric of measurement.

We usually do it in inches. They're a lot more versatile in knowing inches and centimeters, whereas we over here in Western culture are very dumb and only no inches, right because we don't have a reason to use anything else. But we so we're not only trying to keep on top of our brides coming in store, we're keeping up on latest trends, which is ever changing in our industry. Designer collections are changing twice a year, you know, and so then we got to just keep up on like do we have that in store? Do we not? Changes like there's new fabrics that come out constantly, Like the amount of satins there are in the world, it's crazy where they're like, this is a lux satin or a lux liquid crepe satin, and you're like, why are there so many words attached to this fabric? Right? And all of the like more these are like newer, but like the eco fabrics, Oh yeah, there's.

So many eco fabrics and then you're like, but why is it eco? And well, because X amount percent of it is recyclable and if you hit a certain threshold of recyclable, you're considered eco. Yeah, and like it's just wild, Like there's just so much out there which you, as. A consumer, are gonna get extremely overwhelmed. Oh yeah.

So even though we preach research, don't go down the Reddit thread rabbit holes please. Oh yeah, you're gonna just you're gonna lose your shit. Yeah, look down like the fun stuff like watch fun reels and tiktoks of like girls trying dresses on fire. Pinterest.

Please don't do any type of information and threads because you are going to feel overwhelmed and like, oh my god, am I going to choose a store that's trying to just take my money and doesn't care what the final product is or the horror stories of bad seamstresses, like stay out of that world. Ye. No, you can trust us even if you're not coming shopping in our store or don't live nearby. If you need help with anything, anything, you can call us.

We love helping, We sure do. It's one of my favorite things. That's why we value our knowledge and everybody that works here we try to make sure they are trained to help. Yeah, because we want this to fill like a productive you know, stepping stone in your wedding planning.

You should never leave our store feeling frustrated. Obviously, there are there's time exceptions to that, and usually it's because even though we have explicitly explained the expectation of our side, the expectation of the client side doesn't align with us. And even if it doesn't align and we tell them so, they still are adamant to come. And then it's just not productive because we knew ahead of time it wouldn't be, so it's hard.

And then we try to communicate that through the appointment and they just want to keep trying on more and we're like, we don't have that. Yeah, it's hard, but there are so many more hats. So we are more than what meets the eye. For the most part, we are more than the consultants on the TLC show.

Yeah, even though I would love to shadow them for a day, just because I have a curiosity of like, because somehow we are blessed enough that we have had more than one customer in. Our store who has shopped there, which is wild. Like PREMI owning this business, I like never knew anyone who would have ever step foot in there, and now I can say I've been in there as well as like customers who come to me. And don't buy there and don't buy there, or you know, because you would think, oh my gosh, I'm gonna open a store and people are just gonna go to Cleimfelts and buy.

Because they have goddamn everything and they were able to get a freaking TV show. Yeah, but people have not communicated to us that it's positive. Granted, I'm sure it's hard. Oh yeah, And I'm sure there are people who work there that are just like they're the ones who made the experience, and it is your consultant will make the entire experience.

Yeah, we had a bride tell us the other day that she didn't want to buy from the shop one because the dress didn't fully feel right, even though everybody cried in it. But it was the consultant that just run pushed her away. Yeah, rubbed her wrong and made her feel unsure if she could commit. Yeah.

And obviously personalities, you know, as a human, Yeah, they don't always mix. But our job as a consultant is to be one as neutral as possible. Yeah. And two, once we understand you as the way your emotions define you in this moment, we will we.

Should be able to adapt to it. Oh Yeah, and be able to not necessarily mimic you, but be able to like stay in line with you. Yeah, so that whatever it is you're projecting, we are receiving, and then we can like give back. A little bit.

So then that way it feels mutually beneficial and comfortable to be around each other. Yeah. She had come in and it was just her. She decided to come by herself.

She wanted some dancing music. All three of us were getting down dancing together. We'rek It was fun. Oh my god, she was so much fun And I love her freaking face.

She's so cute, So and that's what you want? Is what is what does that moment feel like for you? Is it having six people there that are all going to give you god awful opinions and make you hate yourself. Because you need Is that what you want? Yeah? Or is it I'm going to come in by myself and I want dance music on and if I can't torqu in this dress and get down, I don't want it. Yeah. We got tested out, yes, and we will.

If you'll be sitting take a seat. Yeah, see how it'll feel. If you are gonna be twirling a lot. Is that faber gonna get stuck in between your legs? Or do you have room for activities? Are you doing a choreographed dance? Maybe you don't want a leg slit? Yeah? Oh my gosh.

Could you imagine a center leg slit and they dip you back Hello World? Or even just a lip any type of lipt. I don't know, it'd be bad. Yeah. So there's no wrong way to find your dress in that sense.

It's just what you need. Yeah, and no, it's okay to do whatever you need. And if your family doesn't agree, then they need a reality check. They need a reality check, there's a lot of people who do.

Yeah, because here's your sign. I mean, Tosh bought her dress with no appointment, nobody there. Her family didn't like that, but she said, oh well. I mean, I unfortunately had a mother who couldn't be supportive, and I knew the emotional hell my life would be having an appointment.

I saw it when my best friend from childhood was the first one out of us to get married and we went dress shopping. Granted it was good Old David's bridal, but like, that's just what exists right at the time, and we were nineteen year old, so you could only afford so much. Yeah, but we went there and. It was a whole hell of a toxic group of people where mom was super religious, the bride was not, so the mom had opinions about her coverage and then worried about what family members would think.

Kind of stupid shit. I hate that. And then there were friends in the bridal party that I have never liked, but that's that's just how life is sometimes. Yeah, but these friends were not supportive either, Like it was just a bunch of braddy bitches.

I felt like, And I was just so frustrated for her. Yeah, and like we went there and. Obviously it's David's bridal, and the way they operate is there's one fucking consultant for three appointments at any given time. Yeah, so you you never.

Saw them, which was super infuriating. And so I was helping her in and out of the gowns, which was fine, whatever, and she found her dress like immediately, she's one of those that like she knows her style. Yeah, and she was buying it, but Mom guilted her and was like, well, we. Need, we need more.

We went to fucking appointments in Provo Utah. Oh gosh, she's. Not this And guys, this was in two thousand and eight. Okay, told you we were nineteen years old.

They were almost twenty because they were the older ones of our class. Yeah, but like. We went down there and guys, in two thousand and eight, Provo Utah, there was no such thing as non Mormon dresses, so you knew going in there, like you're only seeing like the modest of modest stuff. And it was horrific.

I would hate that. Oh my gosh, it was awful. And like she was so mad, and I was frustrated because her mom kept saying like, well, these just look better on you, They're more appropriate there whatever, and it was just like. Red flag stop, Like it.

Was so bad, and I just remember how defeated she felt that, like when we left there, when she went back to buy her dress at David's Bridle, which I think it was like seven hundred and fifty bucks for her dress. I love that, and I think it was an old Cassini. I can't remember anymore, like I can say it to my head. Yeah, but like when we went back, it was just like her and I and I think her twin sister, Like I think it was just the three of us, like maybe there was one other person probably, but like we just went there after like just dumping everybody off and was just like we're just gonna go buy the dress, like get it over with.

And her mom was so upset that that's what she chose to war, of course, And like I just the whole time watching that, I was like I would never I am never putting myself through hell like that. No. And then I knew Sean was going to propose, and I worked at a store, yeah, and loved this stress. I tried it on a couple of times, and every time I put it on, I just felt so confident in my skin, which at that time I was a person who had a lot of insecurities.

So the fact I. Felt so good in something it was like, right, that has to be it. And I knew in that moment if I invited my mother, she would ruin it. She would ruin it absolutely.

Because she would either make comments like in her mind. I don't think it necessarily would have been to be mean, but granted, maybe I'm giving her more grace. However, it would have been projections of how she felt about her body reflecting it online. Yep, would have been like, oh, you know, are you sure you want to wear something that tight? Yep? You should try something else? What about something that looks like my dress? But if I had wanted to have people there, I would have had to do two separate appointments.

It would have been her, probably her best friend, because she had no daughters, she had all boys, and I probably would have left it at that, yeah, and then I would have done the other one with my grandmother, with my step mom, with her daughter, with my stepsister, and probably I probably would have had my friends at both. To be a buffer with my mom. Yeah, but the thought of having to do two separate appointments and go through that hell. At all, it's exhausting, and we see it here.

Yeah, like, yeah, I know. That's why I had so much anxiety about you inviting fucking everyone to one appointment. And we had like oh my people, so well it did, but you did you did communicate well? Yeah, I did communicate very well. And it was because my sister didn't really have any bridal appointment.

She got married in the temple and now is no longer LDS, and so I wanted to just give a little bit of an appointment for my family. And it was also fun showing them some of my favorite dresses leading up to the one that I wanted and hearing their feedback, like, blew my mind that my dad's favorite was a blackfit address on me. I was like, oh yeah, your dad was like, are you sure you don't want that dress? And I was like, sir, I love it. You are like you're awesome right now, but like there's there's better, yes.

Yeah, And and there are times that you are fortunate to have large supportive parties. Yeah, but it's it's it's very much a like there's like a minimal amount of percent that it's actually going to be that positive. With that many people. Yeah, so take it with a grain of salt, like absolutely, you can't have that type of success, but like you don't need that many people there, So like Cass and I are complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

Yeah on how I mean, granted, she knew what she wanted before she invited everyone. She did it out of love and respect for her parents. Yeah, I did not afford the same, you know, in my mother's eyes respect to her. While your mother is also borderline.

But it's fine, it's fine. So and that's what's hard, And that's why I know it's so important for me to do those cleansing rituals in the store to make sure we're setting a safe and sacred place to capturing information to know you and your dreams as well as any fears you have, because I want to be able to shed light on those fears and make you realize that like that fear doesn't need to cause the anxiety that you've been experiencing up to this point in time. Yeah. I always love when girls are because whoever designed a woman was rude.

It's awful. The inconsistencies. Not only that, why do we have to carry extra fat to have kids? Why do we have to have the uists make it so like they are awful? Yeah, men have it easy. Dad Bot's super hot and I'm sorry, Oh your balls drop once? Great? Great? We suffer wants a mom.

I love that, Cass. But I always love when girls are like a little nervous about their stomachs, especially if they're going to be eating and they try on a fit a dress and they're like, wait, I actually love this and I'm not worried about it. Yeah, it's my favorite, it is. And those moments will make you tear up.

We've done a lot of crying with our brides. Will cry with you. We'll cry for you. Yeah, there's a lot of crying, more so for you, only because when things are traumatic in our store.

I wish I could throw a giant. Bitch fit on behalf of you and make your family realize the lines they have crossed in making you second guess yourself or feel bad for being in the body you're in. There was only one family that now, we had that one recently a few weeks ago, that like I wanted to throw them out. Yes, that one, but not as bad as now the one where.

She had. Thankfully we held our composure. But I think if it would have gone any longer, I think Tash and I probably would have had the cops called on us. Yeah, I mean fortunately, the way that mother was in her demeanor, I matched it, yeah, and very much was just like you're incorrect.

Yeah. We tried to fight back, and then she tried to fight back as well. Yeah, so there was a lot of like the way girls fight, like girl fight for real. I just wish we could just brawl like men, get the fuck over it, let me you in the space and tell you why you're wrong, and then after you'd be like, man, I was such a bit.

I'd be like, damn right you were, and see you tomorrow. Have a good day. But yeah, that one family, it was just awful. It was awful.

The things that they were. Saying to the bride should never be told to a human, any human. No, But they thought it was normal. We are going to only talk positive positively, positively, positively about ourselves positivity.

No, that's like, yeah, positively. Why does this sound wrong? I don't know, Probably because I threw the word titty in there and it positiveitty positivity. Uh. We want you to feel positive, yes, throughout the entire process.

And that's why we talk to you. We research, we collaborate, brainstorm, and do everything we can to either give you exactly what you were asking for or to find the something that has been missing all along. Yeah, And that's how we lead to celebrating the success of you finding your dress. You get to marry the significant other of your dreams and you feel great.

Yes, And you're not gonna regret anything, yep. You And you know what, And if your regret is god, damn, I invited too many people, that's okay, that's fine, val renewle do that shit over again. But if your regret is I wore the dress that you know, mom, grandma, whoever forced me to buy yep, or red flag, that's when you will regret Yeah, yep, So don't don't do that. Or if you think that you want to try to a trend rather than go for the dress that you want, you'll also regret that.

Yeah, don't wear the exact same dress your best friend wore. Yeah, wear what you want. Just you don't have to be trending, No, just be you, and you're lucky you live in a day and age you don't have to follow a trend. Yeah, I mean there are trends.

Yeah, there's always trends because that's how designers are. Yeah, but like trends now are more surface level, like surface level in a sense of it looks super cool and edgy or whatever in social media posts that people do to try to go viral. Right, but like that everyday. Person, majority of the time, you are not doing what people on Instagram are doing.

Nope, So don't set yourself up for failure thinking you need to do what you know these viral people do because they are in the one percent. Probably money one percent as well. Yeah, that's what I mean, and that so they can just do whatever. So don't set your yourself up for something you can achieve.

Yeah, which is fine, but we do love celebrating the success when we have taken all of our hard work and all of our knowledge to find that dress that you are going to have essentially memorialized in your photos, videos. In a memory. Yeah, you know, because it's it's a very special moment and it's a very special piece of clothing. Even if it's us helping you realize that you had found address at another store.

We love that you get to say yes and you found that dress of your dreams. And we know our involvement in someone's journey isn't always leading to the yes moment in our store. Yeah, doesn't mean we are going to skimp on the experience we give you. We are setting an expectation and if the place you go to buy from doesn't meet it, they don't deserve you.

Nope, just tooting my own horn here. However, when we do get to be a part of your moment of saying yes, if we say we're gonna cry or we are crying, it is from a place of like genuine love for you. Yeah, I'm just so excited that this happened for you because you deserve it. Absolutely.

Ah, I'm getting all emotional, don't. I'm kidding. Wow, you just killed the move, the move, the mood, the move, the move. I'm but yeah, so we know this episode is a little more of like kind of a talkie rant one.

Yeah, even though I had a script it, it was more just to kind of be like, Okay, here's the basics of like things we do. Yeah, here's a topic rant about it. Rant about it. That's one thing we're good at as ranting.

Yeah, we're really good at it. It's the tourist in us. Some people don't tell us to just shut up for a second. I don't know what that means.

I'm just kidding. I too like to be in clothes. Oh yeah, definitely, that's the Taurus. That's the tourists.

If I'm not the one talking, I wanted to be silent. Yes, are there any final thoughts you would like to add before we wrap up this lovely lengthy episode? Not that I can think of. Okay, Well, we will still have some information in show notes, just kind of on articles that have been written about being a bridal stylist and a consultant, especially if you're not looking to get married, but you're interested in the career. Look it up, find places in your air because it is one of the most rewarding jobs I think out there.

It is very taxing, so just know that as well. Some wedding dresses are very heavy. You need some good upper body storing. Yes, but I'll still have some good show notes, just with some articles to kind of reflect on our industry and what it is we do.

Yeah, you know you can always reach out to us on social media. Our Instagram is at va underscore Bridle. You can always send us an inquiry through our website, which is vabridle dot com, or you can email us at our Everybody pod at va Dashbridle dot com or call us at eight oh one eight nine zero one four nine two all the things. Because we are easy to get ahold of, feel free to get ahold of us.

Love, answering questions. Absolutely, We're here for you, all right, cas, go ahead and end this lady. We love you, and just remember that everybody is a bridal body. Bye bye.