Episode 39 "Am I the Asshole: Wedding Edition"

Description

🎙️Episode Summary:

On this spicy episode of Every Body is a Bridal Body, Natasha and Kassidy dive headfirst into the internet’s favorite drama minefield: Reddit’s Am I the Asshole?—but make it wedding themed. From wild dress codes to bridesmaids being uninvited to a sister-in-law getting booted from the big day for her outfit, we unpack it all with our signature blend of bridal insight and brutal honesty.Get ready for unfiltered opinions, real industry context, and maybe a few moments where we say, “Oh no, she did not.”Because in weddings? The line between setting boundaries and being the problem is razor thin.

DISCLAIMER: There is a lot of swearing in this episode (for obvious reasons 😂 listener discretion is advised.

🧵 What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
Our hot takes on who’s really the asshole in these messy scenarios

• Why dress code enforcement walks a fine line between classy and controlling
• The emotional labor bridesmaids are expected to shoulder—and where to draw the line
• What happens when personal style and family dynamics collide (hint: drama)
• 📚 Reddit Threads Referenced in This Episode:
  FMILs White Dress Obsession
• AITA For Not Wanting To Change My Wedding Time
• AITA For Getting My Mom and I Uninvited
• AITA For Not Letting My Fiance's Cousin Be a Bridesmaid
• AITA For Kicking My SIL Out of My Reception
• 📱 Stay Connected With Us:
  💻 Website: www.va-bridal.com
• 📸 Instagram: @va_bridal
• 💌 Email: everybodypod@va-bridal.com

Episode 39 "Am I the Asshole: Wedding Edition"

This automatic transcript is brought to you by  AI technology.

Love from South Jordan, Utah. Welcome to everybody is a bridal body. I'm Toash, I'm Cass, and we have a fun one today. Uh.

Just so you know, Cass and I are obsessed with the hot takes. Yep. Those girls every time they read dramatic stories, I'm like, I want to be you and I want to be in the room with you, and I want you to tell me these stories. I'm obsessed with them.

So we decided to do our own version, and we are gonna do wedding versions of Am I the asshole that Cass found on Reddit? Yep? And I'm gonna save one. As I was reading it, my jaw was on the floor, So I'll save the crazy one for last. I didn't even finish this story. I was like, oh my.

God, I would have started a fight. Oh I'm so excited. So just so you guys know, I don't know these at all. Yep.

So I'm gonna have live reactions, and by live, I mean I'm going to be reacting live as I'm recording, but it'll be pre recorded for you. I love that, so listen. I have come to terms that us as Taurus is because if he didn't know Cassa and I are both a Taurus and we are in Taurus season. Baby, Absolutely we are nosy as fuck.

Yeah, I wish I wasn't. I am the woman that if my husband tells me something crazy dramatic, especially about someone we know's relationship, and I look at him and I said, did you ask follow ups? And He's like, no, they just said this, And I said, sorry, man, I'm like, yep, no, I can't live off that. No, I'm like, I need more. So I'm excited to see what you got for me.

Yeah. I mean, of course he'sn't going to be as great as those girls, but it's okay. We can be inspired by how amazing they are. And Hey, any listeners out there that have an am I the ass whole story that want to share it with us, go ahead.

Oh my gosh, we're here for me please. I know. We have one story that our former employee shared with us about when she worked for a wedding company in Park City. Oh yeah, that one was a wild one.

My last story is very similar. No shit, really yeah, but maybe worse. Wow. Yeah, okay, all right, well let's just dive right in.

I'm ready, alrighty, So The first one is called future mother in law's white dress obsession, my asshole for my future and love. Mother in law has always been pretty awful person, which is not just my opinion, but also that of her husband and her son, my fiance. I'm getting married in October. It's going to be a very laid back affair.

She had asked me about what she should wear, and I told her that I didn't care. Jokingly added, as long as it's not white. Maybe getting ahead of myself here, but it seems like a common sense that you don't wear white to a wedding. And for the record, she's seen my gown and knows it's white.

About a month ago she showed me dress number one, and I'll describe it. It's a white dress with pinkish purplish flowers on it. Is there a picture? Yeah, okay, Gus's pulling it up. It's okay.

I mean it looks it looks like an Easter dress. I feel like it's the best way to describe it. It's got a lake slit, it's got a little bit of a longer sleeve. Yeah, it's keel, but the base is white.

It's like white white. Yeah, granted, there's a floral powern all over, but it's there's a lot, there's a lot more white than color. Yeah, she wanted my opinion. I laughed, thinking slash hoping it was a joke, and all I could say was, that's a lot of white.

She just stared at me. So I said, like I had mentioned already, I would prefer if you didn't wear white. And she got extremely upset. She yelled, so I can't wear anything white to my only son's wedding.

I offered to help her look for something else. I told her that looking for a fall dress in spring is probably not helping. I shared sites like Birdie Gray and Baltic Born that have lots of options in our wedding colors, which are pink and navy, that don't have any white at all. She didn't say anything for a couple of weeks.

Then she texted me picture of dress number two. Which is a. Black dress with bleshy metallicky florals all over it. It okay? And what was her color that? She says she had a color palette.

Yeah, it's navy, blue and pink. I mean that one's better than the last one, right, I don't know if I'd be terribly angry over that one. But it is black with pink flowers. Yeah, not navy.

But I mean I know how hard it can be to find specific colors. Sometimes, right, So, But at the same time, I'm like, it's not like she gave her like an ocean pearl blue and like she. Gave her navy. Yeah, that's far.

I internally was like, black is a choice, but whatever, it's not white. I told her. I thought it was great. I thank her for respecting my wishes, and I thought that was the end of it.

Then this morning she texts me linked to dress number three. Oh god, and it is. It's falling up well from sex. Yes, I know that's expensive.

This mom has got the money. Whoa white with blue flowers? I mean, I will say that one looks like the China dish, Like you know those China dishes that are like the white with the blue. Yeah, So I mean it looks to me, it looks more blue than white. To me.

Yeah. However, I know, yeah, I know that is not the wedding colors. Still, and this poor girl has been saying, please, nothing with any white on it. Like I think she's trying to say, do a solid color.

Yeah, no prince solid color? Yeah, Okay, she said, I'm buying this one. If you're okay with that. I feel so disrespected. I spent all day asking my friends if I'm bridezilla ying.

I vented to my fiance and he texted her without telling me, And now she's upset, angrily texting both of us that I'm being unreasonable and vindictive. I don't know if I'm the asshole. Please just say so and I can back off. But I just need an outside perspective.

Okay, this is tough. Yeah, because one, I understand her frustrations. Yep, I have a mother who can be a pain. Yeah, so I understand the Hey I'm telling you like no white right.

But if this mother in law is already known for not being a genuine human right, and she is trying in my perspective, Obviously this is from one person's point of view, but I feel like she's trying to find a way to stand her ground, to be like hot, I got to wear white to my son's wedding, my only son's wedding. Listen. I have a boy, but I also have two girls, and I swear to God if I ever act like those boy moms we see on TikTok hit me, oh, I will like a honey, this day is not about you grow up? Yeah, I mean I would not say she's an asshole. I will say in that situation, she's probably gonna have to find a compromise, right, because if she's going to react the way she does, like find a way.

Yeah. But if I were her, I would take those dresses and try to find something similar with like the navy about this and be like, I can tell you like the floral patterns, how do you feel about this one? This one has a navy undertone. Yeah, Like I love this one. So I think it she's trying in the best way in her mind.

The mother in law think she can try, which who knows how genuine it is. We don't know her. But as the bride, you are gonna then have to do some leg work, right. But that's rough man.

Yeah, and this one. I was hoping that. More people would be like us and help her find like that balance. Or understand her story.

But almost everybody. Actually, I still have yet to find a positive one. Everybody is calling her the asshole. Okay, guys, She's not a fucking asshole.

No, she's a frustrated daughter in law who obviously pry to this wedding, has a history with this mother in law. Yes, and if her mother in laws made a comment that she wants to wear white to her only son's wedding, that already is a red flag to me. Yeah, it's weird. That is a red flag of like, hey mom, again, this isn't about you.

This is about your son and his future wife. You're not marrying him. You are not marrying him. Also, why the fuck? Like I don't under I don't understand.

However, I'm someone that's more chill. So I personally, if somebody wanted to wear any of those dresses, like grandt said, if it was within the color palette, Like if I was an anal about my color palette, then I might be like, I'm totally fine like that black one. Yeah, but like out like, try to get into the colors. I can help you.

But I and I know this just comes with age. The older I get, the less fucks I give mm hmm. So I would just be like, you know what, whatever makes you happy, choose that and then let's just move on and focus on something else. But obviously this is a big deal to the bride.

Yes, so it's just something that they're gonna have to both bend a knee. Yeah. Like somebody said, wow, what a lat down with each pick I clicked on. I'm not seeing any problem with any of those dresses.

You are overthinking it. None of those dresses are white. Okay, two of them are white. The first one was the most white.

Yeah, I will say that, like, even though they were big flowers, they were very soft in color, so it felt more white than colorful. Yeah, or as the last one that was like that china print blue and white, it does feel more blue than white, right, but that's still not the blue she wants. She wants a navy not like you know that like Greek blue. Yeah, Greek villa blue kind of color.

Somebody said, for real, are you trying to pick fights with your future mother in law? No wonder she feels disrespected, Okay, but she our mother in Lawrey made a comment that this is her only son's wedding, so she's gonna do whatever the hell she wants. She already disrespected the bride immediately, absolutely, so of course she's a giant middle finger. Yeah, this is just gonna be this is just one of those things that it's gonna blow up, and unfortunately the bride will more than likely bend her knee and just let mother in law do whatever she wants to. Just leave her the fuck alone.

Yeah, but huh, who knows. I don't know. That was like that was people had weird reactions to that. I was really sad.

I was like, you guys are being you guys are the assholes. Calm the fuck down. Yeah, understand her s. There wasn't one person giving any reason of like, no, have you thought about just sending her some options? That are the floral prints and she seems to like it.

That maybe is a navy blue bass. Yeah, like that's something I would. Have said, literally somebody else, Wow, your deaf bridezilla. None of the dresses she selected her solid white dresses.

You're a little nutty. Frankly, I thought the first dress choice was fine. No one is going to confuse the bride with the mother of the bride. She's not disrespecting you the way she is with everyone.

Don't take it personally. Let it go. Tell her any of the dresses are fine. I'm like, oh my gosh, Okay, Well, but.

The point is again, if this mother is one of those boy moms that any of the world has seen go viral on TikTok for being weird as shit with their. Kid, it's she's in that category. She's in that category. And I guarantee you I could see this as like a scenario with this story, that mother in law will get this girl to benderneath and approve something that is base color white with a colorful floral and then I swear to God that woman would show up in a full length, fucking all white dress and be like, oh, the dress I sent you they didn't have the right size or a disidant fit me.

Well, and this one felt better. I could totally see that happening, oh easily. So you know what, I hope that there's an update on that after the wedding, and I want to know what that lady wore. I wonder when was this posted.

Let's see, Oh, it was posted eleven days ago. Okay, so there's we got a lot of way because it's in the fall. Well, I guess we'll have to try to remember and go back this fall and see if there's an update. Okayay, I'm ready for the next one.

This next one I can relate with, Oh God, which just because of all of my chronic issues. But am I the asshole for not wanting to change my wedding time. My fiance and I have set our wedding date in time. We haven't sent invitations out yet, but we have the venue scheduled.

I have a disability that flares up with stress, so we scheduled our wedding for eleven am so I wouldn't be anxious slash stressed too long, so I can enjoy my wedding and reception without having a flare up. My fiance's grandparents are in their nineties and extremely disabled. It is hard for them to get moving in the morning, and my mother in law would like us to change our wedding time so it's easier on them. I want them to be able to come, but I am feeling overwhelmed because it feels like my disability is not being taken seriously.

Like my fiance's grandparents, enjoying our wedding is more important than me enjoying our wedding? Am I being a giant, selfish jerk? Please help more information. I did talk to my mother in law. It did not go well and ended up very contentious conversation. She said that the grandparents are in their nineties and don't get up before noon and that it takes a long time for their muscles to get going.

She also then mentioned my fiance's nephew's sports game that morning and my father in law's work schedule. She kind of just said, I guess they won't come. Wow. Yeah, again, these are hard ones.

Mm hmmm, because I understand, like, as the bride, this is your wedding day and if you know, stress caused certain flare ups and you need to plan your life around it. Like great, girl, that sucks and I'm so sorry. Yeah. I also understand that elderly people struggle right to do things like maybe they used to when they or more young in spry.

But is there no one who could show up and help grandma and grandpa get ready to get there on time? Or can grandma and grandpa just be okay right with going to the reception right and missing the ceremony? And that's what this first comment says, not the asshole info. What exactly do grandparents have trouble with? Could it be helped with someone picking them up or helping them arrange clothes? Et cetera. At the day before, Yeah, like lay out all their outfits. Yeah, help them take their meds maybe a little earlier than normal so they go to bed a little earlier.

Yes, Like show up, help them get ready, have breakfast ready, because that's probably why it takes them so long to be ready. Yeah. And for one, if they're not waking up before noon and they're going to bed at like seven pm, right, they are probably in a care facility. And they're probably they probably are not mentally all there, like they're probably not going to remember the day.

Like that's wild. Yeah, I mean, but again, this is the problem I have is when an adult who is technically the child of this person, so it's a quote unquote adult child, you talking to a quote unquote adult parent, and the adult parent acts like a child. Yeah. I will never understand that mentality.

Yeah, I really don't get it. You know what you you know, all you gotta do. You call Grammy and Grampy. You go take them a dinner, probably something that's soft and easy to chew, because if they can't get it before noon, it sounds like they are old as shit, right, But you show up and just say, hey, I don't know if you're aware I have a condition that I'll have these flare ups and I can't function.

So if it's the earlier in the day we do things the better, just to make sure that, like I can enjoy the day with everyone. But we also know it's hard for you to get around. What can we do to make sure that, like you, guys are prepared and get help if we do the ceremony at eleven well. And she has the venue scheduled even though invites haven't gone out, the venue has been booked and reserved.

Okay, So for the mom being like you should it push it back later because grandparents, dad's work, and nephew's game. I'm like, nephew's game, are you gonna pay for the extra money to change that time? I can listen. I can understand when it's a week day and people are like, oh shit, I got work and stuff like that's rough. Totally get it, But.

We also know why people do it on weekdays. One's cheaper, but two is to lessen the load of people exactly. Because you know less people are gonna show up to your shit. Yes, but again, as the parent, so saying, oh, the nephew has a game.

Yeah, okay, it's probably fucking wreck team. Yeah. He can get over it. He can miss it.

He can miss one game, I guess. So if you tell the coach ahead of time, yep, they can plan for being down a player. Trust me, my son plays reck soccer, my daughter plays rec basketball. We've had said conversations.

I grew up dance, volleyball, blag football, track and then and time off. Everyone's different. And they I know with where they work, how much time off they get in things. Usually weddings are one of those things that when you give someone months in advance, like, hey, my kid's weddings a state I won't be in.

Can I make it up a different day in the week, Like if you work a sales job, you know, can I do a different day? Well? And if you give them time in advance, couldn't they make it an FMLA. No, not for FMLA. That doesn't go under it. That's more like bereavement, like if someone passes or if you yourself have health conditions, so you wouldn't qualify FMLA for a wedding.

You would have to use PTO if you want to get paid. If whoever you work for offers PTO. But I don't know that that's a whole scenario that I'm like, I don't I don't know why people freaked out as much as they did. That just seems like a simple conversation.

And yeah, again, if the grandparents really can't get up, then they'll be fine missing the ceremony. They'll be there for the reception, which is more fun anyways. And if they're in their nineties, they probably won't even know if they missed the reception or. The ceremony, I mean or bolts.

Yeah, also, they probably and depending on when their reception starts, if there is a huge time difference, it's not gonna feel good on the grandparents to sit around right. Well, and I like this person was saying, like can oh where was it? They were saying like, obviously your health and your fiances come first, but could they stay in a hotel that's closer to the venue that someone could pick them up? Yeah, And I'm like, that's not bad. Yeah, there's so many scenarios that like that should not have been a big deal for anybody. Yeah, all right, okay, this this next one, oh no is it kind of creeped me out reading? Okay or let me just ask, is this is all a theme of mother in laws? No? Oh, okay, No, this next one is a friend of her mom's and then there's a cousin and then a sister in law.

Okay, okay, So this next one really creeped me out, and I think you'll catch on When? Where? Why? And okay? Am I the asshole for getting me and my mom uninvited? Hello? There, So I have a question and situation that's really been bothering me, and I don't know if I'm at fault or not. The bride my mom's best friend fifty and groom fifty two invited me twenty and my mom forty seven to be her bridesmaids and helpers at the wedding, which we love to do and help with because we've all been close and like family for years. We were planning the wedding and the topic of bridesmaid's dresses came up, and my mom's best friend had a good idea for a dress code around it. She wanted the bridesmaids to wear a short, black with Bordeaux dress with slit and flowers on the slit.

I absolutely love the idea of the dress, but my mom felt extremely uncomfortable with wearing a short, tight fitted dress. Me and my mom are a little chubby, and we both have some issues regarding confidence. She was too scared to say so, so I asked them if, per example, my mom could wear a bit of a longer dress or looser dress. My mom's best friend understood the issue and told her that that could be accommodated and that she would love to change the design for everyone, so there was no issues.

The groom, however, wanted to uninvite us for not keeping his tradition of short dresses he likes. Excuse me. This caused a little argument between the bride and groom about the dresses and cause them to indeed uninvite me because the bride thought that that would ruin their wedding. What the hell do you mean you have a tradition of short dresses, you fucking pervert? Exactly? Oh my god? Okay, yeah, uh huh.

I can't keep going. This is the part where I think I'm at fault, but there's different opinions. I went over to their house to go ask why I suddenly got uninvited like two weeks before the wedding, and they explained to me that I did not want to agree on the groom's dress code, and they thought it was disrespectful. I told them that they had agreed on letting my mom wear something longer, and that they decided for themselves to change everything, which they didn't need to do if it was a big deal, and that I was personally okay with a short design too.

They got really angry and decided to uninvite my mom too, and I kind of feel bad and think it's my fault so that they would uninvite her and she did nothing wrong. Girl, that is not your fault. Okay. First of all, sir, why the fuck do you give two shits what a woman puts on her body? Second of all, if you are requesting short dresses, why do you plan on looking up their dress? Do you plan on copying a pill? What is your problem? Kay? I knew that you'd feel the same.

No, absolutely, girlfriend, you are not the asshole. Tell that man to go f himself like that? Is that to me? Is when in store we have a mother tell her daughter that if something shows too much of her cleavage, it's going to make grandpa and uncles and her dad and her brothers all uncomfortable to see her boobs. First of all, why the fuck are they looking at her boobs? Yeah? Thank you? Okay, no, no, no no. Also, if you got boobs, you got cleavage.

Yep, nothing around it, nothing around it. So that to me is in that same vein of like. But why mm hmm. What not only that, sir, focus on your groomsmen.

And where did this tradition come from? First of all, it's disgusting tradition. If you're claiming that's a tradition, how many times have you been married? Thank you? Or is this like a family tradition because your family is your family, a bunch of creeps. Fucking pervs, petos, you name it. Are you kidding me? Yeahs first one, the groom wanted only short dresses.

That is very weird in and of itself. The next one sounds like two big cheap pieces of trash in you and your mom's lives just took themselves out to the trash bin. Thank them for their services. Better yet, never speak.

To them again or give them any energy whatsoever. Oh yeah, reclaim your energy, cut that cord and be done with that relationship, babe. Yeah, disgusting like if if I was there and and that fifty two year old man yep had the audacity to my face to say, if you can't wear the short dress, you can't be there because I prefer the short dress. I'd be like, cool, bro, I would also prefer if you were short shorts.

Yeah, like it's only fair. Not only that, I would be like either like kid, cool, I don't need you, or one someone would have to hold me back or I might castraight the fucker. Like that is what? That is such a red flag. It's weird.

What is he? Also? What shit is he doing to his future wife and fucking her up mentally? Not only that, does she have kids? For real? Because that's creepy for real? Could you imagine one of our husbands saying that it like sends chills down my spine. It's disgusting. Well, yeah, so granted, here's my question. Maybe I missed this.

Is it just this daughter and her mother that were the bridesmaids and no other women? No, there's others. Oh okay, yeah, but her and her mom didn't feel confident enough because they're a little chubby, and so they asked like if mom could wear just slightly longer or a little bit looser, and that's where she got uninvited, and then had a conversation with them, and then got her mama uninvited as well. Okay, well, I want to know who the hell these other women are that stayed and followed a dress code. I don't know if they knew No.

I know, but I'm just saying, like in I just I'm curious. Right, Like, well, they probably just thought, oh, this is what the bride wants. I mean, that's like the friends wedding that I ended up not being a part of. Oh yeah, the short dress six inch? Yeah, I mean I don't I think there were more like the four inch still let us with the platform.

But I mean they were tall ass shoes. Yeah, And not that this was a bad thing. I'm not saying it is bad. They're like they looked like hook her shoes, which is fine.

I used to wear hooker shoes all the time in the early two thousands, twenty one year old me. That's a shit I wore to clubs. But when I wore that shit to clubs, because I am a tall woman with very long legs, I would pair it with pants because I knew I can't cover a whole lot anyways. Nope.

And if I decided to wear the mini, I have flats on because people can easily look up my skirt or like cup of fill like I'm worried this creep's gonna do. But the thought of walking down the aisle in a short short like barely covering my nether regions short bubble hem with those tall of shoes like, I was mortified. And granted, I was a twenty year old, super tiny, hot ass little thing, and I was uncomfortable wearing that, And I said, can I wear something else? And it was no, that's what everyone's wearing. And the response was, you're the only one complaining, and if it's everyone else, fine, And I said, okay, but I'm like four to six inches taller than everyone else.

If I was five two, I probably wouldn't care, but I'm not. Like that is just so weird. I know. When I saw that, I was like that man is totally trying to get in the pants of fucking twenty year olds because he thinks he's hot as shit.

Right, all right, sir, all right, I'm nervous for this. Was this the last one? No? There are two more Okay, so by the title, I want you to just guess if the bride's being an asshole or not. Carried me the title? Am I an asshole for not allowing my fiance's cousin to be a bridesmaid? Well, okay, girl, I didn't let a stepsister at the time who I knew would not be in the family forever right be in there, as well as my brother's ex wife, who I also knew their marriage wouln't laugh. I don't want her bridesmaid either.

I got called an asshole for that, and guess what they are not in my main wedding pictures. Thank the fuck God. Hell, Yah, okay, let's go all right. My fiance's female cousin and her mother has treated terribly.

We've been together for six years. The mother never made an effort to get to know me until she heard about the engagement. Now, all of a sudden, I'm invited to visit every birthday or family gathering. She always remarked that I should not be invited.

Whenever we were in the same place, she would refuse to greet me or insist my future mother in law should not dish me a plate of food because I'm not family. What the hell? This is a weird aunt. But okay, right, let's say sorry. I had to make my screen bigger.

His cousin invited me to one of the big birthday parties, but hours before it started, she changed her mind and uninvited me. My fiance boyfriend at the time decided to skip. Out on the party as well. This caused a lot of friction after that.

When her graduation party came around, which I was not planning on attending at all, while my boyfriend was getting ready to go, she told him that he can only attend if I don't come as well. That's when he changed his mind and skipped out on that event as well. Okay, cool, get it as he should. Yeah, he's just supporting his future wife, as you should.

When it's like why would I like I would love to bring the person I love and enjoy spending time with to go. It's so weird. Yeah. She tried numerous times to convince him to break up with me, so he had a big heart to heart with her.

He told her that she should accept me. Since then, we've been cordial and we've been few pleasant interactions. I just don't trust her. She is quite spoiled and coddled.

She wants to be the best woman. There's already a best man. We've decided on only having one groomsman and one bridesmaid, less stress. After I explained why she couldn't be the best woman, my future mother in law suggested that I make her my maid of honor.

I put my foot down and said, I've been dreaming about having my cousin being my maid of honor since forever. The next suggestion was for her to be the second bridesmaid. I have so many good friends that I've turned down being bridesmaids. Why should I change my plans to appease her? You don't, babe, exactly, absolutely not.

Kate. This aunt and her sister whom is mother in law, they got unhealthy, unhealthy things going on in their head. Yeah. Second of all, so is it aunt that was trying to get her nephew to break up with the wife? No, the mom cousin, Oh, the cousin, the cousin that wants to be the bridesmaid was trying to get him to break up with her? Okay, do you have a thing for your cousin? Right? It's weird.

It's weird. Listen, first cousins can't get married in the state of Utah. I don't know if this is in Utah, but I want to be surprised. You can't get married in the state of Utah unless you're the age of fifty five or older and can prove you cannot like pro create.

Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, it's legal in our state to marry your first cousin. But after a certain age, yes, fifty five, and. You have to have medical notes proving that you cannot make children.

I've just never had to look into that. I will not go into reasons why I looked into it, but I did if I needed to know. I was gonna say, I'm sure it's like something regarding your mother's polygamy family, And. I mean there's all sorts of reasons why.

But you know, sometimes I google things because I'm interested, and that was one of them. Yeah, but on this, Yeah, you are not the asshole. Nope. You do not have to have anyone up there next to you that you don't want up there.

No, if family has a problem, tell them to you know, just you're going to have to learn to get over. It, absolutely, And if they are throwing a fit. Keep your foot on your ground. I'll come hold your foot to the ground and put my foot down as well.

Yeah, and why does this cousin thinks she, first of all, that she's worthy of said title. Yeah. Second of all, if you guys aren't friends, you shouldn't be up there. No.

Third of all, I will not understand women who need to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor in someone's wedding. That is the last thing I want to do. I will always do it, and I will do a damn good job, and I will support my friend. However, I am not seeking that shit out ever.

No, it's a lot. It is so much. It's financially a lot, it's mentally a lot. Yep, the stress and the burden.

You have to be there every hour, and I'm like, I just want to show up and give you presents, a party and go home. Yeah, that shit. Is wild to me. Yeah, so don't worry, girl.

I turned down my ex sister in law and my ex sister because I was like, no, I wish that my husband would have turned down a couple. But it's fine. Yeah, that was a fight. It's fine.

It's whatever. It's okay. And then I met them on your wedding day and I was like, ah, I wish I could tell some of those stories without inviting you in the ass. Oh, I don't think Riley listens to this.

And there's no way in hell that those boys listen to this. Okay, fine, Uh. The one friend that was hitting on anyone who was a fucking woman with two legs, Jesus Christ. This man, I don't know if he was drunk or high or both.

He was probably both. Probably looked me dead in the eyes. Mind you, everyone, I am approaching my thirty sixth birthday. I have been married for twelve years, and I have three children.

Yep, looked me in the eyeballs, dead ass. You know, it would be a really good idea if like we all hung out together after this, like all this bridesmaids and groomsmen, and we like really get to know each other. Wouldn't it be fun if you and I got to know each other more? No So, And I looked at him, I'm like, you know, I'm married with kids, right, And he looked at me and he's like, oh, I mean yeah, I guess your husband could come too. You're like, hey, see that efficient over there.

That's my husband and he's military, so fuck off. Like I looked at him and I'm like, first of all, I could eat you. I'm so much taller than you. Yeah.

Second of all, like, hey, you know what you got? The kahonas just the thing that like you can do that shit I get. I get a man, you are just like good courage, shooting for the stars. But like, if you took two seconds to look down at my left hand, you would be like, oh, that's a lighting ring, right. And then he was going after our friend that used to work here.

Yeah, and uh, you think I'm this friend of ours? Is Maddie Is Maddie is much taller yep, and Maddie. You know, sometimes I feel bad, but some people just make it so easy that I'm like, honey, night that I'm like, do you know what you're doing? But like, I mean, you know what those boys are having the time of their life? Yeah, I guess so. I mean I got videos to prove that they were having the time of their life. Yeah, I've got photos.

Some of those photos are funny, they are it's good stories. It's fun to share. But I mean, honestly, you expect at weddings that there are gonna be the weird groomsmen trying to hit on the bridesmaids or vice versa. There's weird bridesmaids that are trying to jump the groomsmen always.

Fortunately I didn't have any of those issues in my wedding, so that's true. So this next one, this is the last one. Okay, I'm ready. I did not get fully through it because at one point my job just hit the ground and then I came over to you to help steam.

Okay, I'm ready. Am I the asshole for kicking my sister in law out of my reception? This was a long time ago, but still causes family debates. Me and my husband have been together for nine years. In late twenty twenty two, he proposed and I was over the moon.

In early twenty twenty three, we started planning our wedding for November twenty twenty four. Planning was stressful, but we with the support of our families, it was very easy to plan. We decided to have a small wedding in the afternoon with only family and close friends with semi formal theme. When I was shopping for my wedding dress, the only people I took with me were my mom, my maid of honor, mother in law, and sister in law.

I've always had a good relationship with my mother in law and sister in law, but there has always been a bit of tension ever since we got engaged. I chose the most beautiful and elegant yet simple wedding dress, and I felt like the dress was made for me. My bachelorette went very well. I celebrated my bridal party my mom, mother in law, and sister in law.

Noe, sister in law did not want to be a part of the bridal party. The day of our wedding came and I was over the moon to be marrying the man that I love with all of my heart. We got married at a beautiful winery and the setting was just perfect. I got ready with my bridal party and I felt like a princess when I put on my dress.

It was time for me to walk down the aisle, and as I walked with my father, I saw my sister in law in a white dress. As I came closer to her, I saw she was wearing my exact dress. Shut the fuck up, Yep, she was wearing a goddamn wedding dress and the. Exact one that the bride had picked.

Oh god, okay, keep going. Yeah, that's around where I stopped my wedding dress. You could see I was visibly upset, and my dad just told me, today is your date. Don't focus on that, so I did.

I focused on the man that I'm promising to spend the rest of my life with. Our ceremony was beautiful and perfect when we said our vows and focused on each other. When we walked back, he asked me if I saw a sister in law, and tears started forming. I didn't understand why she would do that.

I still don't to this day. I would not do that to my worst enemy on their wedding day. At the reception, I went over to her and without asking her why she did what she did, I told her to leave. She just stared at me with tears in my eyes.

I yelled and told her to leave once again. She stormed out without saying anything. I know I could have handled the situation better. I just couldn't believe something like this could actually happen on our wedding day.

Since that day, some of our family has come out to me to say I'm the asshole for kicking her out without listening to what she had to say. WHOA, go fuck yourself exactly. Sorry that was keep going. But it's not like she didn't have anything else to wear, so she had to wear white, which is still not okay.

But she went out of her way to go back to the bridle shop and buy my exact wedding dress. So my dear people have read it. Am I the asshole? Okay? First of all, so sister in law new ear your dress look like, which tells me she was at your appointment she was, which then tells me store who sold this dress. Grant said, I know, we don't know and remember every name.

Yeah, but this is a horror store. I'm like, maybe we need to take stock of everybody's name and write it down on their paper. So if somebody randomly shut up and said can I buy this dress? I'll be like, honey, we're right. Do you hear first and last names and a photo of everybody? And also I'm like, did you have the dress name memorized? Like how did the sister know? Did she show a picture like, hey, I.

Saw this girl in this dress and I really liked it. I mean, there's a lot of reasons why the store didn't know, and I totally get it. So obviously the store made a sale, and you know what, when you are sell based sometimes you just got to make a sale. Right, But if there is any way that they knew who that woman was and they sold the same dress, not only that, Donna on you, on your family, on your cow toally, not why are you spending that much money and to piss someone like this? Is that to me? Is the petty shit a X does, right, you know what I mean? Like, first of all, don't ever invite an X to your wedding unless you guys are previous married and had children and you guys are all good co parenting.

Totally understand that, right. That is one of those like perfect case scenarios of rarely happens. Yeah. Outside of that, why is the sister acting like why do you need that kind of attention? Yeah? Are you trying to get your brother's attention? First of all? I or did she even marry in I'm I don't know.

Yeah, Like what the heck? I'm sorry for the family saying she was an asshole for kicking system law out. Yeah, No, she absolutely was not she was in the right. If I was in my wedding dress on my wedding day and someone immediate to me showed up in the same damn dress, I wouldn't even even started my vows. I would have been like, oh, bitch, stand up and get the fuck out.

The way that my hands would fly through the air, I would drop kick a bitch or what to. And that's what somebody was like, Not the asshole. There's no reason for her wearing your exact wedding dress. No matter what excuse she had.

She fucked around and she found out the end, the normal reasonable reaction is for the bride to kick out the guest wearing her wedding dress. Those family members please ask them what cis in law could possibly say to make her actions okay. Well, there's no there's no way to dig yourself out of that to make it sound reasonable, because, first of all, the way that she described it, she went to a bridle shop, she tried on a designer dress, she ordered seted dress in her size. This was not She went to a department store and just found something white and bought it, and then ironically, the ciss in law bought the same thing from a department store.

That is not the scenario. This is a very specialty item that you just can't buy anywhere. So the only thing I can imagine is did Sis and Law maybe have all the information and instead of going back to the same store, she called her on the stores that had it and just said, Hey, I'm looking for this dress maybe and I need the size. Could you help me order it? Because we get calls like that all the time, which is always so fun.

Right, sometimes it turns out great and other times it's a nightmare. Yeah, but so like she easily could have done that. Yeah, Like, I have so many questions. I know that I just want to ask.

I know this one person was my favorite because I'm like, this would have been us. They said, hell no. She literally wore the exact same wedding dress as you to your own wedding. The level of audacity and disrespect.

To be honest, if it had been me, I would have taken it a step further and dumped wine all over her. Oh my god, the way I again, most people who know me, I no one would ever use words that would describe me as not friendly, not supportive. Younger me was very insecure, very meek, and I let people in my life bully me that I should not have allowed it, sam older me. And also I have confidence from being in the marriage I have I've learned to not be that way.

Yeah, and the way I have fantasized of, Like I would feel so fucking cool to dump red wine on somebody's white house dress. That a way a movie. Oh, and I'd be like, hey, can you start recording me? Fir secap, thank you. I might do something really cool just wait wait, I'm to do a backflip real quick.

I would dance, just be like, I'm gonna make somebody disappear in front of your eyes that you're ready, would be so good, And I would do some type of weird like witchy like abracadabra ale, I'm gonna be like absolutely, I mean, I'm gonna be real, guys. I talk a big game, and then I do absolutely get nervous about making people mad at me. Oh, I'm the same way so fantasy version of myself, the one that just gives zero fs. I think though, would if it was my dress, it would have been.

Oh no, no, Like if I was in that bright situation, I absolutely would have lost my shit. I think cops would have had to been called. I if I was walking down the aisle with because I had my parents on either side of me, I would have dead ass stopped and looked over with my jaw on the floor and been like are you kidding me? And I would have been like called her out, stand up, stand up and come up here right now. I've been like, where about to brawl? And I mean not the cutsie brawl in like Bride Wars, but like wwe.

Oh, I will Dave Bautista bomb you. I'll be like, heye, stand up real quick. I need that metal chair you're sitting already. We're both I am so angry for her.

I hope the family that's saying shit isn't like her in law parents. I don't know, because it's still problems to this day. Okay, tell that sister in law to get the fuck over it, Like, what the hell did you think was gonna happen? Like I want to know in her crazy ass narcissistic brain of hers, what did she think would happen? And what was her goal? Right? I don't understand it, And. I'm like, I don't think I could ever comprehend the people who do want to do this.

No, well, I think it's because we don't have minds like. That, right, because I still don't. I can't believe there are people that have minds like that. It's because they're unhealthy and they've been raised in a way that.

I mean, obviously there's different scenarios. Some people it is based on the way they were raised that they act the way they do and they don't know better. And then there's people who have chemical imbalance in their brain and it's a diagnoses type of something orderline. Yeah, all those things I will never understand that don't get up.

I can't imagine. Yeah, And to be a bystander, I one hundred percent would have been like I'm gonna escort your ass out myself. Yeah. If I was sitting next to her, I'd be like, uh uh, you're getting up, like either strip or get the fuck out.

Yeah, And it's like, really, you don't have a backup dress. I would have gone to the venue been like, has anyone ever like randomly left clothes here? Can you give it to my system? Law? Just let her wear whatsever in the. I wouldn't even want her back again, Like I don't care get out. No, if the family was outamant to have her stay, I would have made sure she felt humiliated, right in a sense of like that, like, hey, here's some lost and found clothes.

Hey, here is one of the most unflattering things you could possibly wear. If you want to stay, you will wear this all night, right, Otherwise you can leave. Choice is yours. And then if she chose to leave and the family had a probably be like, hey, I gave her an alternative and she turned it down.

Yeah, so it's on her. I hope that her bridesmaids would have because I think that if I was a bridesmaid, like I would have backed her up, like I would have done all that I could to been like, get the fuck out. I will escort you out myself. I will drag you by your hair and PLoP you by your car.

And you were right. It does sound a lot like Maddie's story she shared with us. Yeah, except in that scenario, guys, it was Mama the bride who showed up in her wedding dress she wore when she married the bride's father. Yep.

So they were divorced, yep. So she wanted dad to realize what she was missing what. He was missing. Yeah, so I was like, it's a little bit worse.

Because I mean, the least exact same gown. That is just so weird. Yeah, like literally, I have so many follow up questions, I know, and it's a Reddit thread, so like I can't get them. I know.

I don't know if she posted any updates. It doesn't look like it. I know a lot of people were asking for update, which I mean she basically gave the update because this was back in she posted this three months ago and they got married November twenty twenty four. Oh they got married just last November.

M hmmm shit. Yeah, and it still causes issue and debates in the family. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, and I'm curious, like what was her husband's reaction, right, Like, I'm like, I want a little bit more.

Was I'm hoping he was supportive of his wife. I didn't so because I think if he was a douche, he would have been like, calm down, honey, it's fine, or because he was the one that asked her did you see her? And then she started crying, so I think he was like, oh my god, what the fuck is going on? Yeah? I don't know. I so listen. If any of you have a problematic family member that wants to wear a wedding dress to your wedding and you feel like you don't have someone around you who is tough enough to tell them nah.

And have an adult conversation, I will gladly do it for you. Send them. It would be fun because the amount of times I have had women in my store who are caddie and rude and have made brides feel terrible about themselves, whether they are blood related to them, extended family, the supposed best friend. And I know professionally I can't.

I have to help navigate this in as healthy and adult way as possible. Yep. But when I leave here, my husband gets an earful, Oh my husband too. Does your husband actually listen to you when you give said earfull? No? I know yours at time don't as well.

But there's times where Riley is even watching a show that he's intrigued in and loving, gets on his phone and I watch and I'm like, oh my gosh, did you see that turn? And he was like mm hm, And I was like, oh, okay, what happened? And he goes I was like, yeah, that's what I thought. That's wild of me. So I try to catch him off guard, be like, Okay, what did I just say? Yeah? No, And I try to make sure my husband's not distracted by work stuff, kids stuff or whatever when I tell him stories. But Lord knows he he got a lot from me with the dynamic of a family in store last week that we had.

So yeah, so you know what PSA to current brides and future brides, future grooms, current grooms, and anyone who falls in between those titles. If you have family who acts this way, yeah, I understand if they are financially wanting to help that it's a stressful thing where it's like, well they're going to financially help, I might have to be flexible if that is not a scenario. For the love of God, just stand firm and say no. Ye, set boundaries, because I will tell you, the wedding day is a big deal, yep.

It is also the first step. If they cross a boundary on your wedding day, they are going to be crossing boundaries the entire time they are in your life. Yeah, So you've got to find a way to start those boundaries from the beginning. Yeah, And if you think that going to Reddit to figure out if you're the asshole and everybody is telling you that you are, and want second opinions from people who one have been in unhealthy relationships, been in scenarios like that, reach out to us.

Yeah, I mean, do we just create a I don't use Reddit. I feel like an old lady when it comes to it. I don't know how it works. Yeah.

Can we just create something and say, hey, we have a bridal podcast and if you have any am I the Asshole stories, feel free to post them here? We could. Okay, it's just gonna take a little bit for people to build up, but there is I've followed the sub subreddit of am I the Asshole Weddings and that's where I was getting these stories. Okay, cool, Okay cool. So we could post on there being like, hey, we have a podcast and we're doing this.

Go ahead, and I don't know if they tag us or just comment the stories or we'll figure it out. Well, that was a wild ride, you know what. It felt good to get some anger out and I haven't built in my body. Yeah, just from not that I'm an angry person.

I'm pretty chill. Yeah, but damn. Yeah, So we learned today that there are some weird ass mother in laws, which we already knew. Don't be the weird boy mom.

Don't do it. Also, don't be a weird groom who wants people to wear short ass things like you're giving me the chills. Don't be a weird cousin thinking that you deserve to be up there because you don't, And don't even think about being that sister in law trying to wear. The exact same dress.

Human beings are wild for real. Oh well, thanks for that. I you know what, I'm real excited that we did. Am I the asshole? Yeah? Every time I listen to them, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do that.

It's so good. So I'm glad I found some wedding ones me too. All right, well, we're gonna have the links to these Reddit stories in our show notes as well as our social media, our email, which is everybody pod at vadash Bridle dot com, and just remember that everybody. Is a bridal body.

Talk to you soon. Bab Number Bank, l Lmber Banner Bank, Labna Band, Nat Bank.